Webbijbel
Gert-Jan Van Zanten
Written by Joanne Beckley
Truly, our grandchildren’s world is much different from when we were
tikes. Yesterday’s activities, advice and even customs and
conventions of a community have not always remained constant. Today,
very few children have their grandparents living next door or even
across town. Yes, I realize that times have changed, but the need
for grandparents has not changed. We may have changed the how, when,
and where we manage our skills, but grand-parenting is just as
valuable and necessary as it has always been down through the years.
Society offers a number of alternatives in rearing children, but
children need a pattern, something that will project a clear
direction for them. They need several reference points of direction
from the past that give them the stability to reach into the future.
Parents can offer one source and grandparents can provide the
another. Then there are uncles and aunts, and even
great-grandparents who can provide yet more.
It’s a great big world out there, but all too often it only offers
hostility to too many children. We as grandparents can help to
remove the sense of aloneness, even hopelessness, that they
experience and provide a perception of who they are and where they
belong in the scheme of things. Fortunately, there are some really
great grandparents out there and as a granny I’ve been gleaning all
the good they have to offer. Perhaps you too might benefit from the
following thoughts.
What can grandparents offer? Family security and a sense of history.
Someone to talk to who is on your side. Someone to stand and cheer
when you do well. Someone who can give that little extra when the
budget is too tight. Someone who will listen when mom and dad won’t
or cannot.
But grand-parenting requires hard work. We don’t just slide into it
when little junior is born. It requires doing some homework BEFORE
junior comes along. (And here you thought you were going to
retire?!)
1. Good grandparents have the wisdom of God’s word already tucked
under their belts. It is the wisdom that has been collected through
increased knowledge of God’s word, understanding it, and putting it
into daily practice while they reared their own children in the
grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18;
Eph.4:15. See also Deut.6:2ff and Psalm 78:4-8). When grandparents
do not have this to offer their grandchildren, it is like being
unable to give them a view of who they really are, of all that life
is meant to be, and a beautiful hope of eternity with their Father
in heaven.
2. Good grandparents see the excitement of each new day. They have a
sense of needing to reach out for new experiences, new thoughts, and
new goals. Our grandchildren get excited over the smallest things –
we can too! This means, we need to avoid voicing aloud our
comforting routines, such as: “Don’t bring the grandkids over until
after Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy.” You have just negated your
welcome.
3. Good grandparents understand they are not a back-up mom or
substitute dad. We need to look at mom and dad’s busy schedule,
learn about the kids’ sports and who their friends are and find the
areas that are lacking that we can fill. We need to be adaptable and
available. We have less unfulfilled needs to be purchased – so we
can even sink some of our funds into higher telephone bills – or
learn computer skills! After all, that’s where the kids are these
days!
4. Good grandparents are willing to take a chance on being
misunderstood by son or daughter, daughter-in-law or son-in-law.
There will be times when we make mistakes. But we have learned (see
point #1) the value of saying, “I’m sorry. How can I correct the
problem?” Obviously, the only way to avoid these kinds of problems
is to completely ignore our grandchildren – and we simply cannot
afford this as an option. Not if we want to please God.
I like to read Titus 2:2-5 in light of grand-parenting. It is our
Lord’s guidelines for mature citizens in His kingdom. Let us take
the time to go down the list:
TO GRANDDADS (These are leadership qualities from which
grandchildren will truly benefit.)
1. Temperate – This means we should require self-control of the body
and tongue, a soberness that isn’t attracted to the empty offers of
this world.
2. Dignified – How serious is serious? It means we are fully aware
that heaven is watching. It means amidst all the enjoyment we have
with our grandchildren, they will still recognize the respect we
inspire and develop a desire in themselves to copy or live up to our
example.
3. Sensible – This is a granddad who has his mind under control. He
has laid aside “every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares
us,” and is running “with endurance the race that is set before us”
(Heb.12:1).
4. Sound in faith – Grandfathers (and grandmothers!) Who are firmly
grounded in the faith, steadfast, and not moved from the hope of the
gospel (Col.1:23). We rejoice that we have found comfort and peace
(2 Cor.13:11).
5. Sound in love – The longer we live in a sinful world the easier
it is to slip into bitterness, criticism, and fault finding. Our
grandchildren need just the opposite from us. Because we have had to
rise from our own faults, mistakes and failures, we have developed a
greater understanding of sympathy and tolerance. We need to offer
unselfish love just as God offers patience and tender care for us.
6. Sound in endurance (patience, longsuffering, perseverance) –
Maturity carries strength, the ability to stand firm throughout each
NEW trial, temptation, and heartache. We are ready to face and meet
the challenges life throws at us. True, our bodies are growing
weaker, but our spirits must grow ever stronger. We can’t afford to
back off now or relax our vigil. Our souls depend on it – and so do
our grandchildren.
TO GRANDMOTHERS
1. Reverent in behavior – The apostle Peter described reverence
well: “holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being
submissive to their own husbands” (1 Pet.3:5). Reverence includes
offering honour and obedience to God and therefore to become a
servant to one another here on earth. Our willing submission to
serve continues even as a grandmother to those who need us.
2. Not malicious gossips – I find it interesting that the apostle
Paul included this requirement of grandmothers. Obviously we can
fall into this very real temptation – because we just KNOW so-and-so
is not really trying and we KNOW just how she/he should fix the
problem! Someone truly said – “Gossip is a game based on our own
pride.” Our grandchildren need to see humility in action, in word
and deed.
3. Not enslaved to much wine – Obviously there was a problem among
the older women of Paul’s day. Perhaps a hopelessness that sought a
solution from the bottle. Maybe even loneliness caused by widowhood.
Today, we could include depression, feeling that we are not really
needed anymore. Or boredom because we have forgotten how to live.
Today, we also need to consider prescription drugs that cause
dependence when not monitored correctly. Our grandchildren need us
to be there for them. Even if they don’t exhibit any interest in
being in our presence, they need to KNOW we are there for them. Let
us keep our minds working!
4. Teaching what is good – The apostle Paul saw every older woman of
God as a teacher of good. What is good? Philippians 4:8 contains an
excellent list, and every day presents new opportunities to practice
the same. Grandmothers can play a major role in bringing her
grandchildren to Christ.
So, Grandpa and Grandma, let us go to the phone right now and call
our grandchildren and end the conversation with “I love you.” Let us
write them, one at a time. One suggestion that got me excited, was
to purchase a small address book or even use one of those small
photo “brag” books. Collect and insert the names, address, and phone
numbers, clothing sizes, hobbies, favourite foods, etc of all your
grandchildren. Add a picture or two. Keep track of activities,
interests in school, personal needs – whatever comes to your mind
that will help you to stay in touch with each child, whether 2 or 20
years old. Then, when you write a letter, or make that phone call or
video call on your computer, or when you are shopping, or on a trip,
or overseas . . . you are prepared! Staying abreast of what is going
on and what needs our grandchildren may have is hard work! We need
to provide whenever need when an opportunity presents itself.
Go Granny Go!
